The inside track into female psychology. Attraction is not a choice: 9 fatal mistakes that prevent men - even Management Consultants - from succeeding with women....

Our joiner Freeman shares tested Italian wisdom to explain how thinking as a management consultant will help you... succeed.

Recent academic research has enjoyed enormous press coverage and creeps up on every other internet news site. Amid much fanfare, the research proves that couples who make eye contact for 4 consecutive minutes trigger an emotional chain reaction that leads to inamourment.  For all its merits, the experiment, in my view, puts the carriage before the horse.  This is fairly advanced stuff. For what I know, men have an innate talent to sabotage themselves when it comes to, well, the ... game. Basic principles known to all management consultants worthy of  the title explain the sociology of mating just as well. Avoiding 9 widespread mistakes would be enough to reverse statistics.  Here they are, in no particular order.

1. Be a good guy.

Forget all mum fed you. Women do not dig “good guys”.  Good guys are “just friends”.  Once you get stuck in the friendship zone, you have received a life sentence.

There is a very good reason for this: women do not pick men based on whether they are “good guys”. Women go after the men they “feel” attracted to.

And guess what ? Being a “good guy” will never make a woman attracted to you.

Until you accept this fact and begin to think according to it, you will never have the success with women that you want.
 

2. Try to please her.

What do most guys do when they meet a woman they really like and she is not interested? They will try to convince her to the contrary in every possible way.

Well, I have news for you: You cannot change how she “feels” when it comes to attraction!

You cannot convince a woman to feel attraction for you with “logic and reasoning”.

Think about it.  You are trying to give a logical response to an emotional demand.

But guys do it. When a woman does not want them, they do their best to change her mind ... Bad idea.  It will never work.
 

3. Seek her approval.

In the desire to please women, men strive to get women’s approval or permission. This is yet another of those bad ideas.

Women are not attracted to servile men.  Of course, I'm not suggesting that rude or harsh behaviour is the key (on the contrary, I think that is unacceptable without exceptions).  But, if you think that treating a woman well means to always try and get her approval, I strongly urge you to think twice.

Women get actually annoyed with approval-seeking men.

4. Try to win her affection.

Without men, most restaurants and as many florists would get bankrupt.  You must relate to this: How many times have you taken a woman out to dinner, you’ve bought gifts and flowers, and she turned you away?

You should know: It is in the natural order of things if this happens.

When you do that sort of thing, you are sending a clear message: “I do not think you like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and your affection.”

Your good intentions are usually seen by women as overcompensation for insecurity or weak attempts at manipulation.
 

5. Disclose your feelings too early.

Another huge mistake that most men make with women is to disclose their feelings too early. Women are trained to deal with receiving attention from men.

Most men do not realize that a woman is approached the same way several times a day by hoards of men, this translates into dozens of times a week, and often hundreds of times a month.

This, mates, is called experience.  And experience matters.

Nothing irritates a woman and puts her on the run faster than a guy who says, “You know, I really like you” after only one or two dates.

If you do, you are just like all the other guys who fell for her too fast.  You are emotionally immature.

6. Do not understand what triggers attraction.

Women aren’t like men when it comes to attraction. You must accept this fact.

Men are visual. See, like, Gung-ho.

But the same goes for women too?

Well, academic research has proven that the “mechanisms of attraction of women are activated for triggers other than appearance.”

If you noticed, we see on average many more unattractive men paired with beautiful women than the other way round.

Again, think about it.

Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men. Academic research has proven that women are most attracted by the way eye contact with a man makes them “feel”.

If you learn how to properly use body language and communication, you can trigger an emotional response.
 

7. Think that it takes money.

One of the most common mistakes committed by men is to give up before trying, because of the idea that women are only interested in rich or powerful men.

Sure, there are some women, a minority perhaps, who are only interested in this.

But most women are much more interested in personality than bank accounts.

There are certain personality traits of a man that attract women like a magnet ...

And if you learn what they are and how to use them you’re game!

Again: if you learn how to properly use body language and communication, you can trigger an emotional response.

8. Give up power.

Earlier, I said it is a mistake to seek the approval or consent of the woman.

A similar error occurs when a guy gives up his power to a woman.

Stated differently, guys try to impress women by doing whatever they are asked to do.

But even this is another bad idea ...

Women are never attracted to men who cannot control the situation.  You have to stay in charge.

9. Do not know how to seize the moment.

A woman always knows what you’re thinking.

Academic research shows that women can read body language about 10 times better than men.

I know this might be hard to believe. But, for example, if you are out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it.

And if you do not know exactly what to do and how to kiss her, and you just sit there nervously by her, she will not help!

This is true at all stages of the date life cycle: when you first approach, you get her number, you ask her out, when you have to kiss her ... always.

If you do not know how to manage the supply chain, you will spoil the game and lose out.

And you know it.

It is vital to have a plan and stick with the plan.

If all of this reminds you of the experience curve, the growth-share matrix, brinkmanship in business, business and biology, you are entirely correct. There is much science in this art.  Too bad you didn’t know earlier.

Freeman Bepi Pezzulli